People always say that life becomes all about the kids once motherhood begins, but the truth is, a mother should not lose sight of herself among the craziness that is often associated with parenthood. Self-care and community are two of the most important things a mother can do to help her stay positive and grounded every day, even the super tough days that are inevitable. At a recent “mama’s night out” dinner party in San Diego, women of all stages of motherhood gathered to discuss the many joys and struggles of being a mother, including the importance of self-care and community.

Our business manager, Samantha, attended this “mama’s night out” dinner, which was organized by some of our favorite San Diego creatives. These moms gathered together around a beautiful table, delicious food and, of course, wine to chat about the more intimate side of motherhood including everything from community to self-care. Learn more below!

On the concept for the dinner party…

“We teamed up with our friend Dr. Cassidy Freitas, LMFT, to host a dinner party that brought together moms from all different stages of motherhood to chat about the joys and struggles of this gig. The main theme of our discussion for the evening was focused on self-care, and Dr. Cassidy guided our conversation to see how we struggle with losing ourselves in motherhood and then helped us hone in on how we can make sure to practice self-care in big and small ways.” — Julia 

On the importance of self-care…

“I’ve worked with Cassidy a bit this past year for our blog talking about self-care and how important it is. After becoming a mom, I have really felt the need for it and realized how little I practice it. It was important for me to share this message with my fellow creatives, as we are all mothers and business owners, which can make for a pretty hectic lifestyle.” — Jacquelyn

On the ambience and design for the dinner…

“When designing the table for this night, I wanted everyone to feel close and comfortable, so we did low tables to the ground with lots of blankets and pillows to get down and dirty and chat it up. This was also easier for moms with little ones, so they could be attentive to them and still join in on the discussion. The color scheme was soft muted pink tones, which looked so pretty in that golden light at sunset. We munched on the yummiest spread and drank rosé, the perfect addition to a night like this! It was a great way to end summer and focus on a new season in the year to practice more self-love and self-care.” — Jacquelyn

On finding community…

“Community and connection can bring us to a place of healing. This happened for participating moms through asking for help from family and friends, or finding a local support group. Allowing others ‘in’ to care for us can be a vulnerable experience, but when the risk of being vulnerable is taken, the moms in our circle found that they were able to engage with more self-care and found themselves re-energized to engage in motherhood and their work.” — Cassidy

On vulnerability…

“There’s something really freeing about being able to gather around a table with people who are either currently in your same stage in life or have been through it recently. Motherhood can be so isolating, but making the time to sit down and really open up about what you’re experiencing and how it has changed you is such a valuable thing for any mother. Hearing stories from other moms and their trials and triumphs just made the entire evening so much more special because it created this whole new layer of connection. Even if being vulnerable and sharing about that personal side of life you don’t see on social media makes you uncomfortable, it’s so rewarding.” — Samantha

On the balancing act…

“The idea of ‘balance’ is a unicorn, it’s a myth. In order for something to be ‘balanced,’ you need perfect weight on either side, and perfection is just not attainable. Also, perfectionism is typically externally driven, ‘what will others think?’ If we get in touch with our internal values and use those values to make the tough decisions of prioritizing, our day-to-day lives can slowly become more aligned with what’s most important to us. Sometimes, that means pouring ourselves into our families, sometimes it means saying ‘yes’ to our work or projects, and sometimes it means acknowledging that we are running on fumes and need to say ‘yes’ to ourselves.” — Cassidy

On making self-care a priority of your own…

Conversation starters:

1. What role does self-care have in your life right now?
2. What gets in the way of self-care?
3. What are some of the messages you’ve received about self-care? (e.g. from family, discourses around gender and culture, social media?)
4. How might some of your personal values connect with caring for yourself?
5. Have there been times you’ve been able to overcome the self-care blocks? What allowed you to overcome those blocks?