How To Stop Being A People-Pleaser + Please Your Own Damn Self

Listen, in every great woman’s life, the time will come when you have to lay down the law. That’s just what happens when you’re a business owner, a manager, a mother, a significant other or a friend. I think that applies to just about everyone, am I right? Maybe you feel your personality type is on the more docile side, or you are too buddy-buddy with the person you need to redirect. Either way, saying “no” is hard. Being a people-pleaser is easy, but what about when your sweet “yes” nature starts to get in your own way? What about you? Your vision. Your dream. What can you do to become the badass you never knew you were capable of becoming? Here are a few tips to ease the transition for when the time calls:

people pleaser

But what about when your sweet “yes” nature starts to get in your own way? What about you? Your vision. Your dream.

Keep your goals in mind.

When you’re lacking the motivation to put your bossy pants on, just keep your eye on the prize. What are you working for? More importantly, how are other people derailing it? By focusing on your end goal and those lofty dreams, you’ll find more motivation to dig down deep and set them on the right path.

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Set concrete expectations for those around you.

You’re much less likely to run into issues with those around you if all expectations are clearly outlined and communicated.

There’s no arguing with a expectation that has been clearly communicated.

If they continue to ignore your requests or trample over your wishes, that could make for some pretty easy decisions for you.

Stay kind, but be firm.

Have you ever heard of the compliment sandwich? It’s an outdated technique in which you praise something that someone has done well, then give some critical feedback, then wrap up with some more praise, thus “sandwiching” the criticism inside of praise. This isn’t helpful when you’re trying to stop people-pleasing, it’s literal sugar coating. Yes, provide positivity when called for, but if the situation at hand doesn’t have anything positive about it, you have bigger issues to deal with.

Realize you have a choice.

Saying “no” isn’t easy for anyone, on either side. But sometimes it’s the right thing to do for your own personal growth. Consider if you’re being manipulated in the situation, or if it’s not a positive situation for your own well-being.

The first “no” with someone is always the hardest, but it’s the most important. If you’re going to say “no,” say it with conviction. Don’t give a symphony of excuses. Once you start “explaining” yourself is when the other side starts looking around for wiggle room.

At the end of the day, taking care of yourself is more important for you than taking care of other people. Have you ever heard the saying “you can’t fill others up when you’re an empty cup”? Keep your cup full, remember you have a choice and stand firm in what is best for you.

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Be sure to check out these other great posts: 6 Tips For Natural Beauty Sleep and How This Couple Launched A Business With A Mission To Inspire Women.

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Author: Samantha Welker

Samantha Welker is the business manager at Glitter Guide. She has an Master's in Corporate Finance & Sustainability from Harvard Business School but prefers working in the creative industry. She also hosts a weekly business podcast for creative women called Pretty Okay Podcast. She loves spending time with her husband and her son, Rocky, in sunny San Diego. Follow along on Instagram