It’s an easy topic of conversation, especially with other women, and especially with women you’re not that close with. If you want to make small talk, simply comment on their outfit, ask about their beauty routine, inquire about the shoes they’re wearing, it’s what we all do whether we like it or not, and honestly, in many ways, it’s what we’ve been taught to do.
Even though this is the norm and I catch myself doing it all the time, I don’t like it. Why am I saying what I’m saying? Because I have nothing else to say? Do I have nothing deeper to talk about? So I challenged myself to spend a week of not doing this. I definitely failed on some days, but overall, it made me realize a few things that I thought would be worth sharing for all women.
It wasn’t easy
This was especially true with women I didn’t know very well. Whenever I was stuck in a circle of unfamiliar faces, my brain was racing with things to talk about that weren’t physical or shallow. It’s actually quite hard to make small talk about honest topics.
It was hard to change the subject
It made me notice how much other women do this, too. So often I would get asked about who did my hair, what brand my mascara was or what types of workouts I do, that it would be awkward to change the subject from those things and redirect the conversation to something deeper.
It allowed me to learn more about those in my life
Instead of wasting time talking about material things, I asked about my friends about their jobs, their marriages and relationships, the things that have been hard and good in their lives lately. Even if we eventually got to these topics, it was refreshing to just jump right in and ask: how are you actually doing?
It made everyone seem more real
Removing materialistic things from the women in my life allowed me and those I was in conversation with to realize more of what we had in common, and less of what we didn’t. Avoiding those topics connected the humanness we all shared instead of judging each other for how much caffeine we drink or if we’re gluten-free or not. Everyone has pain and joy, and deciding to talk about those things instead made the women around me seem so much more genuine, and it challenged me to be more genuine myself.
For other lifestyle advice check out These 6 Classic Thinking Styles Aren’t Doing You Any Good and How To Live Sustainably When You’re On A Freaking Budget.