It’s true what they say; you can’t really love another until you love yourself. And the relationship you have with yourself can be a profusely complicated one. We all have different journeys, goals and expectations. Plus, how we interpret ourselves could be different than the way we are seen by others, and reconciling those two visions can be a difficult task that takes years to master.
If you are having problems being your own cheerleader and feel a little uncomfortable spending quality time with yourself, consider prioritizing these 10 ideas from our contributor, Jenna Wohlwend. They will help you start to be the president of your own fan club!
Talk to Yourself as You Would a Friend
Do you ever notice how when a friend comes to you with a problem, you speak to them kindly, alleviating any of their self-doubts? But our internal dialogue seems to be much different. We often have a habit of coming down hard on ourselves. Next time you are disappointed with something you did, said or chose, speak to yourself more kindly. Change your inner voice, and the impact it can have is profound. It can help you gain a better perspective and you will find it easier to encourage yourself.
Champion Your Own Opinions
Always respect other people’s opinions and thoughts, but don’t shy away from your own. It is OK to feel differently than someone else. So start respecting your own thoughts and voice. You’ll start to feel like your own cheerleader and build a new layer of confidence.
Pick a day to sleep in late, get a massage, go to the sauna, get a mani/pedi, go on a long run. Whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed and refreshed, treat yourself to it and that time for you will help you build a better internal relationship.
Eliminate the Negativity
People, jobs, situations that do not bring joy into your life are OK to let go of. You have every right as a person to eliminate things or people in your life that are not healthy for your wellbeing. Sometimes it’s important to put yourself first and you’ll find that the cleanse will help you gain a more positive outlook and build a muscle on how to speak to yourself and become your own best friend.
Focus on Something You Love
Always make time for things you love to do or are really good at. Whatever it is, it’s a way to not only feed your soul, but feed your confidence. The more you focus on it, the more you appreciate your abilities, skills and interests, and what is unique about you.
Do Something By Yourself Every Week
Go to a movie, go for a walk, grab lunch. Being comfortable with being alone is a huge challenge for many but once you get there—wow, is it liberating!
Take Care of Your Body and Mind
Treat your body well. Exercise, eat right, get plenty of sleep—you know the basics, they can go a long way. Also, get therapy to help keep any anxieties or negatively at bay and learn how to manage your thoughts.
Simply put, it is one of the cruelest things you could do to yourself. It makes you feel inadequate and it takes away from all you have accomplished. STOP now!
When you listen more, you build a muscle that is better at thinking before you speak and this can help us not only gain empathy for others, but allow us to be more thoughtful and proud of how we showcase ourselves to the world.
Whatever you do that gives you a sense of peace and gratitude, do it. And do it every single day.
It takes work to be your own best friend! But these bits of advice are a helpful start that you can build on. Our path to finding this relationship with ourselves varies for everyone, so try these, find what works for you and what you need to focus on. Once you feel really wonderful about you, it will be a marvel at all the fantastic things you can attract into your life—and the perspective you will have on the world!
Jenna Wohlwend is a content strategist at a tech company in San Francisco and runs her own lifestyle blog, Jenna Rose Colored Glasses. She has her B.A. in Broadcast Journalism and loves karaoke, reading, cooking and traveling with her husband.