Confidence looks differently to a lot of people. I’ve met some of the most beautiful women in the world who are completely lacking in real confidence, even though you’d never know it from the front they put on. This year, as we enter into not only a new year but a new decade, I encourage you to focus on building your true confidence up. Your self-worth is so crucial to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about YOU, it’s nearly impossible to feel good about anything else.
What does confidence look like?
Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, confidence looks differently for everyone. You can be completely confident in one area of your life, and completely insecure in another. What we’re aiming for this year is full, total confidence. Look at it this way:
- Confident people are open-minded. Insecure people are closed-minded.
- Confident people give compliments. Insecure people seek validation.
- Confident people admit their mistakes. Insecure people play the victim and blame others.
- Confident people appreciate differences in others. Insecure people are judgemental.
- Confident people make decisions easily and quickly. Insecure people struggle with committing.
- Confident people operate based on their personal values. Insecure people do what feels good.
Truthfully, confidence is a learned skill. Sure, some people are born with a stronger baseline than others, but the majority of people have to take conscious steps to build up their confidence levels.
In the simplest terms, confidence is a trust you have in yourself. It’s that feeling of self-assurance you have when you appreciate your qualities and abilities. So how can you build your confidence in 2020? Nothing builds confidence like taking action, especially when that action is scary. This is a prime self-confidence example.
Insecure people ask themselves:
What will other people think?
What if I fail?
How do I explain this?
Confident people ask:
If I don’t try it, will I regret it later?
2020 is going to be the year that you stop doubting yourself and develop real confidence in ALL areas of your life. It won’t happen overnight, but here are some things you can do to get you started:
- Stand up straight – Your posture is one of the first things people notice about you, but it also helps you feel more confident if you’re carrying yourself well.
- Visualize yourself being confident – Visualization and manifestation will get you everywhere.
- Talk back to your inner critic – When that ugly voice sneaks up, you talk right back.
- Express gratitude – At the end of each day, write down five things you’re grateful for.
- Learn to be OK with social discomfort – Go places alone or try a new networking group.
- Memorize a mantra – Depending on what area you’re trying to build confidence in, come up with an accompanying mantra that you can memorize and repeat to yourself as necessary.
- Listen, and listen for real – Insecure people tend to speak more than they listen. Actively listen and give your complete and full attention rather than just wait for your turn to talk. Don’t forget to make eye contact!
- Ignore what others are doing – Comparison is the number-one confidence killer. Confidence and people-pleasing don’t go together. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and worrying about their opinions, you’ll never attain true, real confidence.
- Learn how to say “no” – Know your priorities and be comfortable declining things that you don’t have time or capacity for.
- Be willing to learn – Being the most confident person in the room doesn’t mean being the one with all the answers. Remember, there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. Learning makes you more interesting, and learning gives you something to look forward to.
- Celebrate the success of others – A confident woman doesn’t view success of other women as their own failings. When you know and love who you are, it’s easy to clap for other people.
- Stop assuming ill-will – Negative assumptions are a quick and dirty confidence killer. Confidence isn’t formed by assuming the worst or falling into the trap of playing the victim. Confident people understand the power of positive thinking and don’t assume that everyone has bad intentions.
So chin up, shoulders back, it’s time to take up space. Whether it be confidence about your appearance, your intelligence, your career and everything in between, you can make 2020 the year you obtain 100 percent real confidence in your life.