Surprise! I’m due with my second baby in July, which you may have seen if you follow me on social media. Despite the fact that Taylor and I are both mothers, we don’t spend a lot of time on motherhood stuff here at GG because, frankly, there are more than enough motherhood blogs to go around. But I felt compelled to write a post about my second pregnancy, right smack in the middle of a pandemic. I have a lot less anxiety this time around because I feel like I know what I’m getting myself into when it comes to the actual pregnancy part, but at the same time, there are a lot of things that are different and a lot of unknowns.
Because of COVID, my husband hasn’t been able to come with me to any of my appointments, and has only seen the baby via the pictures I bring home. This is by far the weirdest and worst part about being pregnant in a pandemic. I wish he could be with me to hold my hand and experience seeing that little gummy bear in black and white, but so far I’ve been on my own. At least he will be able to be in the delivery room, although this time around it will be just the two of us. When I had my first baby, I had my husband, my mom and my doula all in the room, but this time around it’s just the two of us allowed. I don’t even think my son will be able to come to the hospital to meet his baby brother, that will have to wait until we can all be home together.
The anxiety is real
There is going to be a lot of change in my world this summer. Not only will I be welcoming a new baby, but my son will be heading off to kindergarten, which is giving me the ultimate anxiety. He might as well be going off to college in my brain. Add on top of that the fact that we will just be emerging from this weird COVID bubble back into the “normal” world, and I’m feeling very anxious. I don’t do well with the unknown and with lack of control (shocker), so this is a weird time period for me, especially while pregnant.
I feel like parents with two or more kids will understand this feeling. I’m so excited for my baby boy to get here, and my son cannot wait to be a big brother. In fact, he was the one asking us to “grow a baby for him” for months. He’ll be five when this new baby gets here, which is a pretty big age gap as far as siblings go, I guess. But honestly, we weren’t ready for another until now. I’m always in awe of parents who are able to have babies back to back, and I love that they will grow up so close in age, but I just couldn’t do it — physically or emotionally. So we’ve had almost five years of uninterrupted time with our firstborn, and part of me is grieving the end of that. It’s a really weird, conflicting set of emotions to be so excited and so sad at the same time. I cry every time I think about it. But I know this feeling, as strange as it may be, is normal and that our family will be so full of love once our newest boy arrives.
Isolation is hard
My first pregnancy, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by friends also growing their own babies. This time, the isolation is real. We see my parents and one family outside of our own that has been in our “bubble” this whole time, but that’s it. I haven’t seen my best friend without a mask or for more than 15 minutes in over a year. I haven’t hugged so many people that I wish I could hug, including my grandmas. My siblings also moved away in the past year, so my “bubble” got even smaller. I’m grateful for technology and the ability to stay connected during these times, but it’s hard being isolated when you’re pregnant. I miss my people!
A lot changes in 5 years
When I was pregnant the first time around, I can’t tell you how many trips we made to Babies R Us prior to my son’s arrival. We needed all of the things, because we had no idea what we actually needed. This time around, I’m more focused on what we don’t need, rather than what we do. Everything feels a bit more streamlined because we have a better idea of what to expect. That being said, holy cow has there been a lot of change in the “baby” industry in the last five years. There are so many choices for strollers, diaper bags, pajamas, etc. So many new small businesses have launched in the last five years, which is so cool, but I’m also feeling a bit overwhelmed at the options. Luckily, like I said, I know I don’t need much this time around, but there are lots to choose from for what I do need for this baby.