People with high levels of resilience have a few common characteristics. If you caught our post on emotional resilience, you know it’s a trait that can be learned, even if it doesn’t come easily to you. But what does resilience look like? Does it mean getting back up every time you’re knocked down? Yes, of course. But it’s also so much more than that. These are the things resilient people always do whether they’re going through good times or bad.
They spend time alone
Have you ever met someone who can’t stand to be alone? They’re willing to spend their time with people who don’t necessarily fill their cup in order to avoid being by themselves. Not only do resilient people make it a priority to spend time alone
, but they enjoy it. Resilient people aren’t afraid of getting to know their inner self. A part of them relishes this discovery process, and they tend to view reflection as a growth period, not stagnation. They enjoy learning without distraction from others.
They practice gratitude
You don’t have to be overly optimistic to be resilient. I think optimism vs. pessimism is a very black-and-white style of thinking
that doesn’t necessarily cover the entire scope. Our brains all work differently in the way we perceive things. However, rather than trying to force optimism, resilient people focus on gratitude
. What are you grateful for today? Especially in trying times like these, it’s important to acknowledge our privilege and reflect on what we do
have with gratitude, rather than focusing on what we’re lacking.
They are flexible
Life never goes according to plan. Resilient people are able to be more flexible with the natural ebbs and flows of life
. If something isn’t working, they make adjustments until it works. They find the aspects of their challenge that are within their control and they exercise that control. So when faced with a scary diagnosis, they change their eating habits to help them recover. When they get passed over for a promotion, they find the grain of truth in the boss’ negative review and start making improvements. It’s hard to be resilient when you’re unwilling to budge or change in any way.
They reject victim mentality
I have been surrounded by a lot of “victims” in my life, and it’s draining. Some people, whether they realize it or not, have a victim mentality engrained in their psyche. They’re unable to see that when life doesn’t go their way that it isn’t a personal attack. You don’t have to be whining “woe is me” to be stuck in the victim mentality cycle. It is perfectly normal to feel bad for yourself sometimes. Because it’s true, life can kick you in the ass. But if you have a victim mentality, you will see your entire life through a perspective that things constantly happen to you. At its core, a victim mentality is actually a way to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself or your life. By believing you have no power, you don’t have to take action. Resilient people are the opposite of this. They know that in order for things to change, the responsibility falls on them and that they only earn what they work for.
They practice patience
Again, resilient people understand that life never goes according to plan. They understand that many circumstances require them to delay gratification and control their impulses. Sure, they get frustrated, but they won’t send an angry email or get discouraged at rejection. Resilient people know they need to be patient with their goals and with others.
They cultivate relationships
No one can should do life alone. Resilient people value other people and see people first. They understand that friendships and relationships are not one-sided. Resilient people know relationships take time and effort and are willing to engage in this process. They also understand the value of a support system. They are aware of their blind spots and where their knowledge base is weak. Resilient people are not shy about asking for feedback or help when needed.